Rated M because of sexual discussions and themes. Thank you. It's been rated this for a reason, so please smile and actually make sure you've appropriately seen content like this, and are the appropriate age currently. I warned you. -Auxilaryraid
Chapter 1 to the deux tale of Suite Life on Deck
Just when you think the sad tale of a breakup between a funny high school couple couldn't get more interesting, it does! The story doesn't end with a 'bye bye' ending... We need a twist, people! So, chapter one of the tale. Part deux! You've seen it on TV, and you laughed, cried, smiled, and much more. Now, let's twist it up with part deux! The second adventure.
"We get it, Cody, you were just trying to spice the day up with roh-mance!" Zack sighed, "But it's time you became a man and moved on from her. Now, you say goodbye to Bailey, and move on to a hotter girl. By the way, if I were you, I would've just had a little fun with her... Naw?"
"By fun, do you mean sex?" Cody rolled his eyes.
"Come on bro, you know you would like that with her!" Zack exclaimed, "It's time you manned up and learned more about some sex with the ladies, man! Come on!"
"Life isn't all about fucking some girl," Cody snapped, "I prefer the romance, Zack."
"But did that go well with her?" Zack asked, "Did it, Cody?"
"No," Cody replied, "But it wasn't the romance's fault! Romance never goes wrong standing alone! I have the charm. It's a Martin family trait, we know it, Mom knows it."
"If I were you I would've fucked the girl then dumped her." Zack said.
"I'm not that rude!" Cody sighed, "Plus, I love Bailey. Now, I don't even have her. I'd rather never have sex with her, rather than not being with her at all."
"Dude, you don't get a girl for herself, or you're a douche. A big douchebag!" Zack yelled, "You get a girl depending on how big her boobies are. Get the point in a girl? For the sex, douche!"
"Stop calling me a douche!" Cody snapped, "And I would never pick a lady for her breasts, Zack. I pick her, for the love and personality she has. Not the beauty. But Bailey's hot."
"I wouldn't date an ugly Betty even if she was the brightest girl in the world." Zack said.
"You're a really bad example," Cody said, "If I ever have a kid, I wouldn't let him ever talk to you. Uncle Zack isn't a good example for my little kid... Girl or boy, no visits for Uncle Zack!"
"That makes Uncle Zack sad," Zack made a fake sad face, "I don't care about your future little boy."
"You're the real douche, Zack," Cody sighed, "You're a douche because you only care about a girl for her beauty and breasts. What else is there in romance for you, dude?"
"That is not true you liar!" Zack yelled, "I also care about how good she is when having sex!"
"What did you see in a girl when you didn't know about sex?" Cody asked.
"Probably beauty," Zack replied, "I wonder how I got to know about sex."
"Just came to us." Cody said.
"I think you should get back together with Bailey, man," Zack said, "You're such a grouchy douche when you're not with her! What happened to you!?"
"Hey! I don't love Bailey anymore! I got over her 5 seconds ago!" Cody yelled.
"Dude, how does your penis feel when you are around Bailey?" Zack asked.
"That is such an inappropriate question," Cody replied, "And of course, my penis feels normal. Why would you ask anything like that?"
"So, if you saw Bailey right now, your penis would feel normal?" Zack asked.
"Yeah." Cody replied, "Why?"
"We'll see about that, you big, fat, douchebag!" Zack grinned.
CHAPTER 2
The next day. The next part to Breakup in Paris Part Deux! The second (deux) edition to the tragic Suite Life on Deck event. Thank you for reading the next part to part deux!
"Zack, what do you want?" Cody asked.
"Well, you told me that your penis always feels normal around Bailey," Zack replied, "So I can prove that you still love Bailey, just with your penis's honest opinion, alright?"
"You're going too far with this," Cody sighed, "You're going to test my penis's word, then fine! Where's that girl? Let's see what she's got for me!"
"I told her that there's a big study group of people who think they're smarter than her," Zack said, "I lied, obviously. She's waiting in the hall."
Cody slightly opened the door. He hadn't seen Bailey's face since the breakup day itself! He itched his ear as he walked outside to the hall. There she was, her beautiful self standing there, angrily.
"Zack probably lied about the study group," Bailey sighed, "I knew I couldn't trust that bastard. So... Cody! What's new?"
"Ehm... I was just talkin' to Zack..." Cody felt his penis tingle.
"Is something wrong with you?" Bailey asked, "You seem a little awkward right now."
"I think I'm in a handful right now," Cody said, "I'm really busy. So, I gotta go, alright? Sorry to breakout on you. See you later!"
"Is something wrong with your... Boy thingy," Bailey bit her lip, "Why is it straight? It's creeping me out..."
"The term is erection," Cody told her the truth, "It's a little thing for men. I don't wanna crack my thingy so I should probably not do any stretching."
"Maybe I should leave you and your thingy alone," Bailey began to jet off, "See you later."
Zack stepped out.
"How'd it go and feel, dude?" Zack asked.
"I-I'm in love, Zack," Cody replied, "With Bailey. As soon as I started talking to her... My penis got the feeling. It's own mind. Then... It just went erect! How is that possible?"
"You love her," Zack said, "And you admitted it."
"I know." Cody sighed.
"See, you need to make your move, dude!" Zack cried, "You're gonna let her wash away! Then, every time you talk to her, your penis will be erect! Until you have her back! Or you'll keep thinking your stupid because you don't have her, and then, viola, erect penis for you."
"Dude, I can't manage to have an erect one every time I talk to her!" Cody exclaimed, worried.
"Don't worry, man," Zack smiled, "Get back together with her. Then you'll be rid of it."
"Yeah, but how can I do that when my penis gets erect when I talk to her?" Cody asked, "I know I need to be with her, but if my thingy feels like that... Then how?"
"Sex," Zack said, "Girls love to have sex with guys with erect penises."
"Did you have an erect penis when you had sex with Tiffany?" Cody asked.
"Yeah," Zack replied, "It would've been better if I was trying to get her pregnant, but, I put on protection. Normally, it would help sperm go faster. But, I'm too young to get a girl pregnant already. But, for ZackAttack, it's possible in a moment. Mom wouldn't be happy."
"No duh," Cody snapped, "Is sex the only way? Can't I just bare with the erect penis for one talk and a then a date?"
"Whatever floats your boat," Zack sighed, "But sex is the fun way. Plus, how can she leave a douche like you after she had sex with you? Not possible. Get her pregnant."
"No!" Cody yelled, "I'll have the stupid sex with her, but I'm not getting her pregnant, then getting her to a hospital, then becoming a father!"
"Yeah, that's a big jump," Zack said, "As it is, it's gonna be hard for you to seduce her down to having sex with the biggest douche is school. You!"
"I'm not a douche!" Cody yelled.
"Whatever," Zack sighed, "You gotta get in a room, alone with her, so she feels awkward, too. Avoid the erection, by keeping it cool, just for once."
"Whoo! I'm glad you didn't mean snap the penis by avoiding," Cody said with relief, "Snapping it can lead to the organ bleeding or having problems. Wouldn't want that to happen."
"Anyways," Zack got back on to topic, "Just seduce her like you can. Act sexy for sex. Heh."
"Hopefully I can get it right," Cody sighed, "But I really don't want to have sex with her."
"Come on, you can wear protection," Zack pleaded, "After all the fun you had with her, she can't breakup with you again! It's making love with fun, dude! Learn how to do it."
"Fine, I'll try it," Cody gave in, "Well, I guess it's go-time then."
CHAPTER 3
COMING SOON
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