Kissing Meat by n00b (suite life on deck story) 2 chapters

First story.
CHAPTER 1: Meet Hamela
"Alright Woodster, I'm gonna show you how it's done," Cody said, "After kissing Bailey, I became a master. But if you learn from Zack, you might send the girl running. I prefer to charm her with sweet comments."
"So, what are you gonna do to help me?" Woody asked, "Cause' I ain't puckering your face."
"Rude... Well, I understand that because it's bi and gay, but I'm sensitive," Cody said, "Anyways, meet Hamela Anderson. Lunch meat. Kiss this, it's in your comfort zone."
"That is totally my dream!" Woody exclaimed, "Dreams do come true!"
Cody handed the ham to his friend and Woody bit his lip and said, "Nice f-face, Hamela."
"No, no! You're doing it wrong!" Cody yelled.
"What?" Woody said.
"Let me show you how it's done, man." Cody said and grabbed the lunch meat out of Woody's hand.
Meanwhile, Bailey was about to ask her boyfriend, of course it was Cody, to prom. This was going to be the night of her life! She was walking to Cody and Woody's cabin when she heard them, this part:
"Wow, your eyes are amazing, I just want to hold you all day," Cody softly said, "You are so beautiful, nothing is more." He made out with the meat, making loud kissing noises, enough for Bailey to hear, "Oh, Hamela. That was an amazing kiss. You kiss better than anyone I know."
Bailey storms away.
"Wow, that was pretty good, Cody!" Woody exclaimed, "You are the man for a kissing job. No man kisses like you."
"Thank you, thank you, my friend," Cody smiled, "Now, let's not talk me and get you to work. Kiss it now. I hope you have the idea now."
CHAPTER 2: What did I do?!
"Hey Bails, I can buy you a smoothie since you look so down today," Cody smiled, "Nah, I'd do it for you if you were sad or not."
"I'm not talking to you." Bailey said and turned away.
"What, Bails, why?" Cody asked, "What did I do?"
"Don't act stupid with me and play innocent," Bailey snapped, "You know what you did."
"Please, I swear I don't." Cody said.
"Fine, but  you know you did this, and I caught you doing it," Bailey said, "When I was coming to your cabin to ask you to prom, I heard you complimenting this girl and kissing her. Pamela or something. I forgot."
"Pamela? I did not kiss a girl name Pamela!" Cody laughed, "Wait a second! You think I was kissing HAMELA."
"I heard you!" Bailey snapped.
"No, she's uh___ lunch meat. Long story." Cody giggled.
"Why were you kissing lunch meat?" Bailey asked.
"I'll explain to you if you're not mad at me." Cody replied, "You're the only girl I love, meat or not."
"Aww, I can't be mad at you because you're so sweet," Bailey smiled, "I'm not mad at you anymore."
"Okay, I'll tell you why I was kissing lunch meat," Cody said, "But first_"
He kissed her on the lips for 10 seconds, and of course, she felt so good kissing back.
"Now let me tell you the story." Cody smiled.